Oh Brother?!!??

You can call me crazy or work crazy or what.................Because of the situation which I am facing now is worse than work crazy as I am pretty 'darn' to get myself out from this pathetic situation. As I am determined to do things my way; I do not give a da** who is cursing me or whatsoever............You are this or you are that...............Okay, why not you trade place with me in order to find out on what I had been through................For these past six years...........Trust me; with the situations, scenarios, scenes or even experiences; some would find them to be overwhelming..................To swallow in........................Okay, one thing for sure is that my age is catching up with me.............Now talking now one 'old person' liau.........

In fact, I am also searching for my dream job in the oil and gas industry which actually got me hooked up in the first place. In short, fell in love with the industry in the first place............. I have always wanted to experience working in the operations department how works are done in a structured with protocols to fulfill the requirements both the government and the non-government agencies do their stuffs.........Call me curious or what ever name you are able to think of................Anyway that is not important...............Moreover, being forgiveful or even forgetful sometimes can be a curse or even a trait better not follow too much..........

Aiyoh, what the heck!!!! Better find some jobs to do before I become paranoid too often until I also cannot 'tahan' ownself liau.............Jesus Christ............Now I am mumbling all of these non-sense bramblings............Again..........Sigh.......Need to work harder and smarter in order to get what I want..............Time is definitely running up fast...........

The Will To or Not

Okay, you can call me whatsoever name you are able to think of at this very moment as I am very tense and agitated at this moment even to manage my emotions in terms of applying for a good prospect company to earn a decent income until my retirement age. Better not to retire early sure makes the brain drain suffer even more.

In fact, some would call me 'working crazily'........Hmmm......What do you expect; now I do not even have my stable income to support myself but more of using my reserves..........Gosh,
I would call it in this term : Jesus Christ, when is this torture going to end???!!! Haven't God test me enough, given me more people with incomprehendible characters which cannot be comprehend.................to the extent of the attitudes..............Tell me or even enlighten me on this...............Can any of you do this???

Sometimes working for me is a form of satisfaction that I am able to fend for myself or even achieve what I am able to achieve in what I have put my mind into achieving them........Believe it or not.................That is the way I do my work.............That is the way I make myself to improve to the maximum..............And I do not even care how others think about me.......................Just do my best in everything which I believe in doing in accordance with my conscience................Just like I usually do always...................And learnt from those who had caused my sufferings and those I caused sufferings to also...............LIFE is like that anyway..................Cannot expect anything from this................

Star Light Star Bright

Star Light Star Bright
Make a wish
And you will get your wish
Wishes that you want to realize them

Ever wonder how this type of fairytales ever do happen in our lives??? Sometimes; I am at the verge of giving up but this journey is becoming twice as tough and even more sinister as well as the people now are becoming more selfish or even more materialistic than ever.

In fact, with the cost of living now everything increases but of course the usual case : salary. The fact now I am without an income is actually 'killing' me on the 'inside' and 'outside'. This is not a joke but a statement...............Imagine now getting a job now needs contacts and in short high profile recommendations in order to secure a job. Moreover; my nerves now is definitely straining my patience, as well as other things still unanswered in my mind as I am typing now.

Gosh, sometimes I wish that this torture would end here but it still continues.................It will continue.............

Such Irony

The person whom I least expected to hear from was from the b**** who was the COO of a 'tiny' company. Do you know what was the main reason she called me in the house? Enquire about the password; and by the way the person who knows the most on the so called invoices or quotations of this so called (You Are Evil Malaysia) Company.................In the first place, how on the earth that since you are the f****** boss in this company.............But do not even know a darn thing!!!!And you call yourself a smart ass who knows how to balance a book and even manage the funds......................

In fact, she was the one who kept condemning me, and even calling me stupid, moron, whatever languages can be translated into Cantonese like 'stupid potato'...................Now asking me this stupid question...............Such stupidity that I had seen this types of people from my ex-oil company like those two monkeys who called themselves managers but do not even work and earn for a living instead just pushing the work over to me to finish the assigned tasks...............

For diplomacy sake; of course need to keep my cool and answer as well telling her only how much was I informed from her staffs...................Such stupid management, with stupid idiocracy on 'having tons of money means tons of authority'..................Ever meet such a person with power crazy attitude and calculative till the end...............After telling out this scenario when I slept around past two this morning and received her call about nine in the morning.....................Just to cater for her needs................If not I would simply ignore her and ask her to go to hell......................I would not even give a minute to this type of person whom actually showing a very high possibility of bipolar disorder...................

In fact, I am pretty sick of searching and even hunting for a job....................As the process is very tedious and at times very stressful.................Even to the extent of straining my nerves to find a suitable one to earn my basic income at the moment..................A steady basic income at the moment.......................

BIG EGO

Now I am having a gal of a time listening to someone who comments me that I have a huge ego. Let me reiterate it again A HUGE EGO, if that is the case then I would end up being a Lone Ranger like in the cartoon show.

Like I did mention that before............My luck and career really sucks big time this time............I am talking everything is being blamed on you and the burden is becoming really heavy. Not only that; if you do really have the ego...............The main priority is to have a basic income to sustain myself before I am able to proceed and even to chase my dreams.................

I know I have dreams, lots of dreams to be pursued..............Digital photography, helping the terminally ill and even writting my own novel.............Now my main priority is still my career......My younger sister until now still could not get my priority.

Career for me is my essence in life to succeed in financial independence, self worth, an excitement which is forever bursting with energy to pursue further knowledge, experience and even pushing one own's limits to the maximum to the extend I will be losing sleep.........
How I miss those times................lots of efforts being put in.............

All Around Smart??!!

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Just curious when I came across this blog; as was wondering why was my career is still at the dead end moment.......Imagine coming to this age is no laughing matter........As time now is getting tougher now to earn a living......What can you do about it?? You fret over them or just cry over spill milk???

Sometimes I wish that I am like some others whose career is prosperous at every moment apart from having daily nightmare in thinking what to do for the following day.......Jesus Christ........The time now is definitely getting into my nerves............

I am at the urge of nearly given up on myself as my career.......Gosh......my career.......

Expectations

Sometimes, expectations can be so demanding in terms reaching your own dreams. It seems that dreams at the time like now still have not been reached yet in short............achieved the goal which I intend to do.

In fact, what I have not is insufficient......................So what???!!!!A matter of fact if there is anyway that I am able to turn into another person or vanquish into another world without ever being bothered.....................On my hand now...............sometimes it takes one to know one......

Jesus Christ!!!! At times the LIFE or the cycle of someone whom can be traded it could be a fair deal...............Hmmm........If given the chance I would not even hesitate to do so.............At least LIFE would turn out better than now............Instead of just 'rotting' in the house...........
The workalchoholic in me is still 'dying' to work instead of just 'hibernating'.........

Cannot just imagine anyone for being such a 'dreamer'.................Even the number of people the blog is not even being realistic at this moment.............Everyone is so busy with their lifes or activities..................Maybe dreaming is another form of expanding creativity, alertness as well as options in creating something new.................In short helping me to cope with the expectations which I am having towards myself.................Why not we trade place now???
Do you want to do so now??? Or even later???

The Art

As time flies, from the second we were brought into this world............The first breath we take is to cry..........Unsure, still new to this world; without knowledge or experience or experiments......One would put them.....as the proper term will be considered as 'newborn'.......

For now being 'newborn' to the working worlds with lots of happenings........One would be considered as growing 'older' to the environment.......In short, we have already been 'immuned' but with those experiences which actually shape our characters.........We are who we are today........No one..........No one........Can ever 'take away' the value in us.......

What is important.......NOW is that......Being 'ourselves' which makes everyone of us is different but with different personalities........Therefore no one person is the same......If not this world will become extremely DULL.........

The Art is actually on the 'adaptability' which we are able to get used with........In short 'changing masks'..........That is why it is an art......Not to be looked down upon on.......

To Be Or Not??

As a 'normal' homo sapiens or would I consider myself 'normal'??? Now as far as it is concern, establishing my career is still my main priority before anything at all. Apart from that, if there is 'extra bonus' along the way I would not mind being 'loved and also to be loved'.........Just quoting from George Sands........Pretty ironic.......for a gal like me........Or a spinster.......or a dame.....Hehehe......Just kidding folks!!!

Other than that, as the 'eldest'..........In the family, establishing a bright prospect career.......In the oil and gas industry; I would need to wait for an opportunity to arise in order to seize it. As for now, I would prefer to be absorbed in a well established company or public listed company............I am rather dreamy on this issue...........Throughout the years, which I have been working...........There have not been any opportunities.............

Hmmmm...........if given a chance......I would prove to those who had actually underestimate my abilities, my proactivness, initiative as well as hardworking and creativeness.........Thanks to my ex-lady boss.........who had actually 'told me to grow'.........'and keep on growing'.......In short, when I was employed by this lady boss......I could not get what she meant......Pretty stupid isn't it???She was also in fact my mentor, teacher, boss and also a trusted friend.......Real friends are hard to get.........And she is one of them..........Just to let her know if she does read this blog............Anyway, I wonder if she has the time.........To do so.....Hmmmm..........Lady boss, lady boss.........if you do hear me......At all..........I am trying my best........As far, as it is concern..........what you had actually taught actually do come in 'pretty handy'..............

Okay..........my imagination is going crazy again........Cannot let this happen again......Gotta be more .........'on a realistic ground' instead of being in a 'dreamland'..............Get back to you later........need to catch up.......What I am actually 'living now'...........

From Hunted 2 Hunter

It is pretty ironic on how we actually perceive LIFE, there are some who are really filthy rich but with unwholesome 'airs of attitude' or even without any principles in LIFE. Apart from that, I am very happy and grateful to be away from such sadistic and LIFELESS person who only relys heavily on REIKI, MASSAGES, false makeups, tatoos here and there (really rich bitch only can afford) for inner peace or self contentment.

In short, we the homo sapiens are never satisfy in what we have now. We envy on what others have but we do not have; others may have the same thoughts as we do, yet we do not know any of these.

However; sometimes when I look back in my LIFE now, since started working six years ago..So what??!!!??!! We are the same kind, but we do not proclaim that we are friendly, easy going, laid back, or whatsoever...........Do we need to tell others these sort of qualities you have.......Other people may realize that you are actually 'dying for' 'attention'........... Okay, okay it is none of my business to begin as a storyteller instead of tell talers........Like one of the office staffs or keh poh people be it males or females...............Trust me the 'plasticity' of people whom you meet during the line of work..............Sure makes you either very sick or just plain nausea once you look at them....................

Better put a stop................for now.................Burning off karma sure takes a very long time to do so at this moment....................Start from square one again.................Very sickening...............