In Memory of A Legacy

'Come and see me when you are in doubts'. That was Chief Reverend words used to tell any of us who are in doubts in our LIFES, religion and also the most important is our self belief. In short, the TRUST and our MIND works................He left us on Merdeka Day.............And moved on................Christians would classify them...............

Exactly one year after his death, but his TEACHINGS, WORDS will be instilled in our memories of a GREAT LEADER..................Apart from that, it actually showed us that LIFE is as fragile as a child, as precious as GEMS...............Do we actually appreciate what we have on our hands now rather than LOSING them...................BEFORE it is too late for us to realize them????

Maybe, this is LIFE...............When we are about to LOSE something then we will realize how important......................IT IS to US..............Still learning from this...............Showing our appreciation, our talents to someone in my opinion is not that important than but more of our ACTIONS speak LOUDER as well as in our DAILY PRACTICE.........

This is merely thoughts of a very wordless individual in the open..............In short, don't even know how to talk..............Sigh..............Merdeka Day............Would not even be here.............Anyway with the almost all expense paid trip...........by the company.........Siapa tak mahu pergi................Guo pun pergi lor...........Ini baru Malaysia mah................

HAPPY MERDEKA TO ALL THE READERS...........MAY
YOUR WISHES AND DREAMS COME TRUE....................AND ALL FUTURE UNDERTAKINGS!!!!!

Forgiveness

Currently, at this mode of time forgiveness within one's self or the deception of one's own thinking on the outside world...............Seems to be playing..........Everywhere

Would the LORD actually give a second chance at all???? Would LIFE which had have been playing all the TIME has it actually ripens for US to see on where have WE wronged in our actions.............Thus, it is timeless for ones' actions..............WE cannot 'erase' the PAST which is easily done and 'part' with it........................Like a cat which has already enjoyed it's meal.......

Finding it more difficult than easy....................When the HEART has already been opened by someone.................IS IT TRUE??? May I ask this question? In LIFE which I know there is no SECOND CHANCE.....................Either YOU MAKE IT or YOU BREAK IT............Neither to hurt each of us but the HURTING seems to continue further and deeper than expected...............Nevertheless; when one sees a baby or a toddler..............One's heart could not help feeling the joy of holding the child who was once borne into this WORLD fragile, weak and small............

With each growing day, this toddler teaches us there is a WONDER in the JOY of LOVING..........LOVING without ASKING........Do not know how it comes about but after kissing the child's head it brings back memories................The JOY one do not know where it comes from but from the look of it......................This CHILD has brought a new meaning................A NEWER meaning...................

If this can be explained further with one's experience...............AT ALL............The HURT ITSELF is more PAINFUL................and DEEPER.................To explain such pain would be very PAIN...............As it may last on the duration of TIME..........IT TOOK YEARS just to OVERCOME such PAIN....................It causes more on EMOTIONAL, MENTAL, SPIRITUAL, TRUST, PHYSICAL,......................Put it this way, the LIST is endless...............Is endless............

Just Thinking

What would a person with unusual hobbies to pass time: A Lunatic Is Back To Blog.......

Cut the story short as for now:

Life definitely has its ups and downs no doubts if it ever satisfy one's desire to a certain extent. Sometimes this person believes that FATE does play a part in order to survive : Survival Of The Fittest Theme.........

Everything is just so IRONY nowadays; is like now you see them and now you don't. Very funny don't you think so??? Okay, okay laugh all you want or tease all you want anyway...
Maybe it is heredity...........Looks like one thing is missing for me at this time....

Who cares anyway...........I just came up with words and it goes like this:

Here Comes The Old Dame
With the Attitude
Temper Flares
Which Kills Many

No wonder
There is a book
Call being titled
To Kill A Mocking Bird

Authored by
Harper Lee
Sigh : A civil right
Book to consider

When you are
In court defending
Your Own Case
If there is

Right now; I think it is slightly a bit too long winded and also LIFE is teaching US daily............. Nowadays, waiting for my 'normal timetable' to be resumed again.............Which means the 'new cycle' of activities...........To occupy lots and lots of free time...............Since so free and also need to learn more new stuffs...........To 'activate' the brain somemore before it becomes 'senile' at this age.............As well as keeping physically fit............Emotionally and also spiritually occupied..................Just say need to permanently erase some things.............

A Time To Remember

Looks like the world would be a 'different era'..................Okay, not just in terms of 'era' but of phases in LIFE...............What is LIFE...................????? We make LIFE..............WE create LIFE..........Imagine each moment that we are in NOW; with the person who we LOVE, we CARE, we KNOW, we UNDERSTAND, we WORK, we JOURNEY our LIFES TOGETHER............

Starting to ramble non-sense again.............Sigh............What would be LIFE without MAKING LIFE although we ARE LIVING NOW..........Starting to understand LIFE A BIT..........JUST A BIT..................Am not fully enlightened...................If enlightened; I would not be stranded in Mother Earth..................That Spiritual Journey will be even LONGER................

Apart from that, starting your own life with someone else will be a different story altogether...
If any of you ask your parents............How do they manage to be together for so long? And also bearing our characters, attitudes, temparents????With constant arguements, misunderstandings, miscommunications, career demands...................How did they manage us with increasing use in terms of monetary use as well as status???Are we able to answer these numerous questions................In any ways and means at all???Maybe we are not them...........
Not siding with anyone it is just my opinions in merely expressing coming out from my brain currently before my brain goes beserk again....................

Especially with a person whom you have no idea................or do not even have the proper grasp on the personality................Call me a paranoid if you want to............At times a person will be still in doubts..............There are so many areas to be explored.....................Not just at an angle but in different angles..............It is the same with writting with YOUR FEELINGS, EMOTIONS, it makes a lot of difference in the sense we the 'bloggers' make YOU FEEL on HOW WE FEEL...................Sometimes when we write out in anger is the outlet for us to express our anger, disappointment, expectations, in OUR LIFE.....................

WE ARE THE LIFE........................

Insight

As a matter of fact; now my mind is more clear and in a proper perspective. No more doubts, no more question marks, no more self cursing or even blaming................In short, PAST remains the PAST..............If only it can only go inside my HEAD................If LIFE is any simpler than this.................

Bumbling again............or self ranting over mundane matters which is simple in solution or irregardless of what is playing inside my HEAD.................Getting on with my LIFE is my priority, and my CAREER...................A steady flow of career...............I will continue to do what I always have PASSION in doing them.................not just for the SAKE of doing them.......

Small or big changes can in fact change a person's personality............Or a person's self esteem............Not to elaborate too much on what is going much in LIFE.................

We do not know what will happen in the FUTURE, we can only do so in the present moment.....The fact is that WE cannot CHANGE the PAST...............as this is what mould our characters. Sometimes I wish that I have the strength to turn back time instead of moping over the current situation that I am having now or even keep on COMPARING with others who are more capable in terms of careers motivation, friends motivation, love motivation, spiritual motivation, or even families motivation, it is endless in this list of mine...................Gaining INSIGHT in LIFE..............is a matter of JOURNEY...........Yet....this JOURNEY.......................is still a long one to trek..................

A matter of fact, what do you expect from LIFE anyway???? I have been asking this question since GRADUATION day until I am working...............With the bozos I have been meeting as well as non-bozos..................Luckily no TRANSFORMERS who can TRANSFORM themselves from a car to either AUTOBOTS or even DECEPTIONS...........Just ranting out from my brain...............Like I said before; it is a curse sometimes...................It has always been a curse from the moment I started holding a pen or even typing out words from the desktop or the laptop...........Will be getting one for myself soon.............Not forgetting my dream lover 'digital camera'....................Sigh...................

Dreams Or Imaginations???

At times; I really wonder if LIFE is a fairytale sometimes...............As it has and always filled with number of surprises...............Wondering if I am able to take in anymore surprises.........

In short; when one is always filled with more painful memories than of good ones and the happy ones.............It makes one wonder if there is really a 'second chance' at all.............Scratching my head over this one as if I am able to comprehend what have been going on in my head for these past few weeks................Is there a 'second chance' for someone or even anyone at all in LIFE...............Jesus Christ.................At this rate that I am going now..................Is either the time for me to re-enter the Hospital Bahagia or even it is high time for me to meet a professional mental doctor................to analyze my brain..........or pyschology mental health at this moment.................

Not indulging further in this game of guesswork..............Which is never my forte' in terms of putting them into words..............A good description of me would be more of Jane Eyre or Elizabeth type of person.................But minus the affair with forbidden(married) man of course..................In her storyline......She does not even know that her employer already has a wife in the first place 'very much alive' in the house..................LIES.....................We live with them...........We forget them................Eventually, we learnt from them......................If there is such person like Mr. Darcy from the Pride and Prejudice...................Why not anyway???? If there is existence of such a person anyway.................Imagine if you are in my position..................What do you really expect from a person whom you hardly know or even notice if there is any 'difference'....................Building castles in the air............One would term them anyway.....................Call it the mind is runnning wild or even amok at this hour...............

Okay...............not to be too nosy over this particular issues of LIES, DECEPTIONS (don't mean the Autobots and Deceptions [Transformers] figthing in EARTH), CHOICES, VALUES,.............................Sometimes; when the pain is more than the actual experience...................It is difficult to see or sense the 'trueness' or would I say 'love' is for 'real'...............Or merely just the imagination or the infuation of some senseless teenager who is living out the dreams from her daily indulgence in romance .................books......................Pretty hard to figure out doesn't it..........................

Humor me.....................If not try to get somethings for me to 'crack' my head out solving them than to 'replaying'......................Them..........................It sure scares me................And also..........Committment.............................Just keep on praying and hoping that this is what it seems to be and not out from the books..............Or any indulgence of books.......................from Judith McNaught...............or even Virginia Andrews.............................

A Love Song

I am having a memory loss now at the moment; as if there is anyway or remedies to make them come back again.............In short; are you asking me to go and check in as a patient and go for hypnotherapy....................To recall what I have had lost............

Sometimes LIFE is not that easy as it seems and also the DILEMMA which I have been having until now is still bugging me.................Just keep my fingers cross that my mind is not playing tricks or if not getting myself admitted in the MENTAL ASYLUM is another alternative..............

Sigh..........This is what is 'playing' inside me right now and right here :

Life as it seems
Flying with time
As time is going by
Slowly or faster

A love song
Has been sung
Would it be a
Yes or No?

Is my mind
Playing tricks again?
Or just my Imagination?
Sharing with someone

Is only a beginning
There will be trials and errors
There is no manual book
However; we are called

Homo Sapiens
Together we build lifes
Together we build a bond
May last lifetimes

Or more lifetimes together
Is it true? Is it just lies?
Please let me know
FATE alone

Will never be enough
Seen enough and done
There is never enough
There are more to come

Is there a POSIBBILITY?
Shall I continue
With this puzzles of LIFES......
Or is there more to come............????

Life's Own Beauty

Okay, now the lunatic is back here blogging again.................after yesterday blog; it sure bugs me further......................However, now career is more important at the moment...........

Hearts affairs is actually a 'bonus'................Would I feel happy or sad? The question has always been a 'BINGO' question.........Name it Catch 22 situation.........If there is Ocean Eleven, Ocean Twelve, now upcoming Ocean Thirteen.............This one is Twillight Zone...........With Mission Impossible..........

Hmmm.................I have actually 'fears' 'doubts' and even 'questions'.................If I am able to answer them................This is LIFE...............Another segments are coming back here again:-

However as for now
Surprises seem to be in every corner
Not like in planned
If it is planned

Then I will
Not be in such situation
Flattered? Happy?
Doubts? Frusrations?

How do you term
This definition?
Twillight Zone
Or need a Mental Doctor

Mental Doctor where are you?
This lunatic is in deep trouble
Looks like going to need
Your medication

If it works
Thank God!!!!
If I need one
Tell me so!!!????

It is already time up..........For this lunatic..............To keep this blog shut up...............Before another round of unexpected non-sense blogging continues...............See you soon or would I say good night and have enjoy your beauty sleep...............For those who are so vain or for those who the hell cares about makeup, toner, sleeping mask.............etc.........facial products....
I want to sleep now..........................

Being Cursed???

Call me a type of person with 'irony' personality if it is to be more apt in terms of explaination anyway there is no one word which can be describing this so-called simpleton.......Especially with the curse that is solely hanging for the past few years.................Apart from that these are the following words is 'eating up' my brain section at the moment:-

As one would be putting
It in a more 'settled' mindset
If possible at this rate
As currently

It is my 'hibernation period'
I intend to hibernate
In order to rest my circuits
As my circuits have been 'overdone'

At the moment
For the hearts affairs
I am still at lost
No idea, no solutions, no explainations

If there is one
I would not be in this situation
In between 'hanging around'
Looks like now

I sound more of a 'ghost'
Or a 'walking spirit'
Seems LIFE is 'playing'
With me

Haven't been played enough yet?
Or the game has just begin
Seriously; now I am going to admit
Myself to the mental asylum

Me? Not an expert, so what?
Staying alert, BE MORE CAREFUL?
Any answers?????
It still bugs me.............