Building A Bridge

Let us all look into ourselves for a change. We have good and bad sides that we know. In the working environment; we know what to do. Ok......I kinda look into things; in short more deeply and meaningful......No wonder my lady boss called me old, and also I am still learning from her. It looks like we are 'in a drama' at the moment. Well, looks like to make people like me and I need to love myself first. This consultant taught us the basics......it looks like I have not been loving myself enough at the moment. Maybe; it is time I put myself first before the others needs. Working with a number of people had taught me where are my weaknesses and the strengths that need further improvements.

Irregardless.....whoever,whatever, noever.......my doubts are neverending. Now getting out of 'the shell' and 'opening' ...........In the Walt Disney 'Beauty and the Beast' and 'Aladdin' there are values still evergreen that we could have forgotten. Evergreen beliefs which may be forgotten but not practised as well as thinking at the moment. I can look at it the other; no matter how tough it is going to be, I am going to go through this middle phase in between 'aging' and 'seniority' sure drives you nuts at this moment......This 'Plain Jane' here....is already starting to go nuts again...Hehehee.....laughing at myself again.....Jesus Christ......I wonder where my path would lead me to this time round......Once there is a chance; grab the chance and there may not be a second chance......Hmmm........think about it again....if can do put comments....

This infected blogger still need lots of area in improvement.........and good and bad....that is how I learn........

'Old Lady'

Okay, put it this I know that I am old; so what the heck??? Every second we are growing older.....but my point is the people whom we mix with usually influence our perceptions on lifes' irony or shall I put them in a proper way: CHALLENGES and WAVES.......

The conversation that I had with my boss today was a pretty interesting one indeed. She had put me to view things in a very 'different and even more open' outlook in life......Alright; she is old enough to be my mum so does her hubby......That is what I call husband and wife team from business to personal.....although they still have their qualms on other stuff....Hehehehe.....if they are 'free enough' to read this.....I will bet.....if they have any 'free time' at all......with so many things to do ......to the extent....taking a holiday is like organizing the entire time just for a 'holiday'. Just imagine........When they work.....really like DEVILS.....maybe we are two of a kind in terms of workwise but in personality....okay I am the younger one.....and sometimes.....'my colleagues enjoy "baby" me'. That my friend if I have no work....as though work is neverending anyway......I am not letting them to 'baby me' that long since I am old enough to be a mother.

How come this term 'old lady' pop up in her mind....maybe there are many things we still need to look within ourselves deeper and even a clearer conscience......I must admit I am way too 'Westernized' in my image but still very 'Easternized' in my values and beliefs.......LEARNING.....AND STILL LEARNING......not everytime we can a hit a ball right.....but the journey in making it right is the way......we IMPROVE, EVALUATE AND WRITTING THEM HERE......MY LITTLE NOTEBOOK......

Dreams

From the break that I have had given myself it is better to continue writting again before going brain dead without anything to write.

Envy with others have in material equipments like expensive gadgets, cars or so-called hi tech stuff......you are really talking to a 'actual dummy who is willing to go to any length' now to learn all of these stuff. Skeletons in the closets; maybe I have too much but we have our own time to learn and learn more from others......not just ourselves..........Wishing things that I do not have definitely sound crazy for such person like me......Okay......it is obvious.....I always end up being the subject of 'the single one' .......in both my families which means maternal and paternal sides......Hey.....if the conditions and circumstances........are not there.....first and foremost....establishing 'the non-self' of who the 'definition' in the context for a new beginnning....as well as a beginning of a beginning.......is a start for this 'Plain Jane'.......and I must say......my life is pretty boring.....compared with the excitement and the adventures of others in their lives.......Accepting.....I am such and such a person.......but WITH DREAMS.....I PURSUE.....WITH THOSE WHOM I HAVE HAD SAID HARSH AND HARD WORDS....I AM SORRY......WITH SUCH EMOTIONS.....IT CAN TAKE A TOLL.....BUT ALWAYS LEARNING............STILL... There are endless dreams........sometimes wishing that I am in fairy tales land instead of in the reality world......still making the best of what I have now at this moment......Jesus Christ....I am talking to myself again......

I have asked GOD.....before.....and TOLD HIM ABOUT MY PROBLEMS....AND PLEASE SAVE ME FROM SUCH SITUATION OR SUCH AGONY OF LIFE......GOD DID LISTEN TO MY CRIES AND WORRIES..........

In the end of the day.........WE ARE PICKING UP OUR LIVES AND HOLD ANOTHER HAND AND HOLD ANOTHER AND WITH THIS CHAIN OF LOVING AND WISE HEARTS AS WELL AS THE SEEDLINGS OF LOVE......THESE SEEDS CAN BRING MORE HAPPINESS TO THOSE UNHAPPY AND LESS FORTUNATE ONES THAN US......... I thanked GOD that I have KNOWN HIM before......and I thanked LIFE IN TEACHING ME ABOUT BUDDHIST WORK, SOCIAL AND MISSIONARY WORK TO HELP OTHERS THOUGH I HAVE NO SUCH QUALIFICATIONS TO DO SO.......STILL ON THIS JOURNEY OF LOVE, COMPASSIONATE HEART......STILL LEARNING FROM THE TZU CHI ......WHO HAVE TAUGHT WITH LOVE............ALL BARRIERS OF RELIGIONS OF LABELS......ARE JUST 'PLASTIC' AND NOTHING BEATS THE MOST OF A DEEP LOVING HEART TO LEND A HEART TO BRING ONE'S JOY TO THE OTHER..........

Choices

It had been a real hectic and also fulfilling days for me; but it is well worth it. The faces and the 'transformation' you get to see people change from without confidence and now beaming with confidence as well as eager to try out new trials and challenges. These are the faces I get to see every year from one batch of new recruit of organizers one after another annually. Let me get one thing straight; I made the choice and I stick with them.

Okay, I love to work behind the scenes and dislike being centre of attention or even limelight. Even my godparents know me so well like second nature or would I call it 'their adopted child'. Hehehehe.......just joking frens.....The toughness and the motivation in order to keep one going is tremendous as well as effort involve to think of new ideas; I mean all the time.....it is one part of me IDEAS.....means ALTERNATIVES.......or would I call them.....chances.......to see them happening.......

Opportunities are lurking everywhere even the place where we work........there are there is just whether we want to grab them or just leave for others to take full credit on what we have done........Dog eat dog world......it is a fact.......Survival of the fittest......but not the craziest.......and also the most happening to see how soon we are able to change as fast as the second hand moves in the clock or just 'tick tock'.......

Choices......we need to grab them or they might be lost forever.......Hmmm.......maybe I need to take a break from writting for a few weeks....to straighten my brains....and also my wits......as well as my nerves; emotions,physical and spiritual well being............KARMA........when can I finish burning off my BAD KARMA????????????

Baby's Innocence

When you look into the baby's eyes who is able to 'melt your heart'; that is called 'baby's first love'. Everywhere we go; all the time we seem to be in a rush from day in and day out till night time. We seem to forget the most important thing when we first came into this world. Why were we born in the first place? Pretty difficult question to answer right? Ponder and think over this and maybe we would be able to learn more from each other.

Let me tell you one thing, my main weakness will be children. Just say; I have a particular 'soft spot' for them. Children are the main reason for me to forget myself as a working adult for a change and 'a child back in time' with them. Hmm...........the innocent looks from the children can be very 'tricky' as 'smart' when you have dealt with them long enough. Now the kids are getting smarter,brighter and not forgetting wittier with their brains to outsmart and even out-talk the adults; if any of the reader understands what I mean.

Apart from that, such innocence coming from children can be very 'un-nerving' in such forgetting that they have done some very 'naughty' things..........'children naughtiness'. Putting and bribing us with their sweet, beautiful smiles and beaming with their 'cute faces'..........and do you think you would be able to overcome them........Fat chances......we would be 'the ones being bribed by them'. They are our future......our keys....and also our innocence when we used to be kids.......Just like them........

Life's Irony

Feel the moment now; as one would think as such saying may still not know.
As part of thee' might not have known
Just as lost as in the deep forest jungle
Looking from the top of the forest or mountain

Unknowingly; the lion might come
Uncertain, unsure on what is right
At this moment
Just by feeling is only a feeling

The truest or not
Yet to be known
However, TIME would tell us so
As such, by feeling is the only way

Just feeling
Or only illusions, hallucinations
Making sure it is the RIGHT one so
Just wondering.........so much so

Within Us

I wonder what would all of you think of these penning on my thoughts at the moment :

As TIME tells us
We are growing each second
In age and in mind
How do we look upon ourselves

Thus the wars and battles
We are facing daily
Separate between thee 'real' and 'unreal'
Who we are

Thy; might think as
Thee is running 'nuts'
At the moment
Thee would not blame you for saying so

As we grow each time
When we face the actual
Are we really such a person so???

So, do we think alike, different,
We fall in love, with ourselves
Or with others
Where are we at this moment

Yet, LEARNING STILL
AM HUNGER SO
YET STILL QUENCHING THEM
WOULD MAKE NO CHANGE

As days, weeks, months and years
Are we counting our grey hair
At this moment so???
Now I think I am running nuts

Going into this as we know we are aging so
Do we intend to make things stay on
We can change
But conditions and circumstances

Always change
Allow our minds and freewill
Flow as freely as the flying bird
To capture on MOTHER NATURE'S LOVE

SHE IS GIVING US
WITH EVERYTHING SHE HAS
THY WOULD KNOW
AND WOULD KNOW

AND WE LEAVE THE REST
TO MAKE THE BEST
ON WHAT WE HAVE
AS TO KNOW WHO WE ARE

Let's make a guess on LIFE and see THE DIFFERENCES ON OURSELVES and THERE IS ALWAYS BOUNDLESS OF LOVE EVERYWHERE...........it is not be seen but it comes from within the doors of our hearts and THE TIME we would know to open more to SHARE ON WITH OTHERS

Forgiving

Forgiving and forgetting someone has done something 'very bad' to you would be very difficult. As day in and day out; all of us are dealing with such issues daily......no matter you want or you don't want them to arise. However, by forgiving we are also giving ourselves a chance to change we perceive life as there are. I am still LEARNING GRADUALLY TO GIVE A CHANCE TO BE A BETTER PERSON.........some may not like me and some may like me......and we would not be able to please EVERYONE ANYWAY.....AND GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK FROM ALL OF THESE......AND MAKE LIFE MORE MEANINGFUL DAILY

LIFE IS WONDERFUL BUT IT IS NEVER A BED OF ROSES; there is always a PRICE and sacrifices that need to be done in order to accomplish somethings. I have already sacrificed quite a lot of my time,effort as well as mental and physical well being to make things work. Some may wonder WHY? Doing things to break my own threshold is one way of knowing which area that I have not explored in order to improve or 'buck up'. We cannot just 'stay put' in one area and we would not be able to go far............There are so many management books, gurus and even conferences teaching us all of this but 'doing them' is another issue.

In other words, what DO YOU HAVE IN MIND AT THE MOMENT? My mind at the moment is wishing that my friends are having now especially on Saturday nights; instead of being alone. The only thing to immerse myself will be with community work and my career so that I would be able to let go of this gradually. It is easier said than done; but it can also get into your nerves seeing people whom they are able to express deep inside their heart and as well as knowing what are 'the things playing inside their minds'. Look at it in the other way; writting has always been one of my hobbies but I love writting but I know journalism is not in my blood nor in my family. WRITTING ALSO PUT ME INTO ANOTHER WORLD OF MY OWN TO EXPRESS ON HOW THIS WORLD WE ARE LAUGHING TOGETHER AND ALSO CRYING ALONE........THIS IS FACT..........

Problems aside.....are we going to make a difference for ourselves or just for the sake of others???? We are doing things on how we want things to go our way but IT IS INTERDEPENDCE WITHIN EACH OTHER WHERE WE CAN CHANGE.......AND NO MAN IS AN ISLAND..........

HAPPY SURFING LIFE!!!!!!

Doubts

Sometimes, okay not sometimes but everytime I am in doubts but in a position that I am unable to make someone understand me it is way beyond my knowledge..........

Put it this way, the LIFE that I am having now; everyone will envy however, there is a price that need to be paid. Apart from that, I am also envious the LIVES of others; they have better positions than I am in as those who know me.....if any of those who REALLY know me anyway.........

I must admit.....trekking through this TURF AND LIFE ZONE; it is definitely not a bed of roses for all of us are doing that now.......it looks like....the people I meet ........and at the same time.......I am also BURNING OFF MY KARMA.....THOSE UNWHOLESOME KARMA AT THE MOMENT...........

The KARMA that I am burning now seems to be endless.....and I am feeling quite.....frusrated at the moment to the point of pointing gun to my head.......GRRRRR........and now my head is bursting with unfinished business as well as other plans that I do intend to pursue........
My dreams some would call them.......MAD OR EVEN OUTRAGEOUS......hey my personality is like that but I cannot help feeling like that sometimes......

No one knows what actual events that I have had been through and it is best to be kept within myself and also the one I trust most........The most unimaginable events can also make someone wonder endlessly till the day we know we have made full use of the life that we are in now.......no matter what,how or even why such circumstances and conditions appear.........

Is This The Right One???

Hmmmmmm.......put it this way, I am still in doubts quite often.....still unsure on what is going to happen in the place which I am working at the moment.

Well, life is definitely uncertain but one can never escape from death and taxes.......Life's irony is now putting me on a weighting scale at the moment. What do you say when you are in 'ding dong, blur or even blunderous situation'.....call this a dummy in IT/programming if you want to name me so.....anyway....these charcoal I will be able to take them, however; I am in still 'hangman' condition.....lah......What to do this 'kampung Malaysian ah lien' is beginning to feel like a 'child back in time'............

Some of the people whom I meet will call me a child,......others who know if any of my buddies are reading them would be calling me a 'torturer'.....hey frens out there.....I am just doing part of my job ok!!!! I know I can be extremely demanding when I want things to be done according to my way and also the worst still about me....will be my 'standards in achieving on how I want things to be done properly, without mistakes if possible'..........My standards I would say.....my frens call me you have gone 'gila' or even 'mad case'. This 'gila' fella here is trying all the best in doing what is best in both community and career.

Hey, people out there who kept spreading bad things about me....Do you want to know what I think???? I think you are darn stupid,with fickle minded mentality, one track of mind and also you are in your 'dreamland'......What I am giving are the facts......so what????? Forgive me with my extremely bloodly language at the moment......I am actually giving myself a chance to complain so that in the office I will be able to manage things better, professional and also more efficient and effective.

Good heavens.........how I love LIFE at the moment with the people I get to meet daily with extremely different characteristics that can both drive you mad or even at the extreme 'gila' case........Hahahaha.......:))))..............Talking about mad case.....looks like I am in the process in getting myself as a classic example of nut case scenario in dealing with characters as well as learning new things daily........Learning is darn fun.......

I do not even know what to expect tomorrow lah!!!!!!