Dreams Or Imaginations???

At times; I really wonder if LIFE is a fairytale sometimes...............As it has and always filled with number of surprises...............Wondering if I am able to take in anymore surprises.........

In short; when one is always filled with more painful memories than of good ones and the happy ones.............It makes one wonder if there is really a 'second chance' at all.............Scratching my head over this one as if I am able to comprehend what have been going on in my head for these past few weeks................Is there a 'second chance' for someone or even anyone at all in LIFE...............Jesus Christ.................At this rate that I am going now..................Is either the time for me to re-enter the Hospital Bahagia or even it is high time for me to meet a professional mental doctor................to analyze my brain..........or pyschology mental health at this moment.................

Not indulging further in this game of guesswork..............Which is never my forte' in terms of putting them into words..............A good description of me would be more of Jane Eyre or Elizabeth type of person.................But minus the affair with forbidden(married) man of course..................In her storyline......She does not even know that her employer already has a wife in the first place 'very much alive' in the house..................LIES.....................We live with them...........We forget them................Eventually, we learnt from them......................If there is such person like Mr. Darcy from the Pride and Prejudice...................Why not anyway???? If there is existence of such a person anyway.................Imagine if you are in my position..................What do you really expect from a person whom you hardly know or even notice if there is any 'difference'....................Building castles in the air............One would term them anyway.....................Call it the mind is runnning wild or even amok at this hour...............

Okay...............not to be too nosy over this particular issues of LIES, DECEPTIONS (don't mean the Autobots and Deceptions [Transformers] figthing in EARTH), CHOICES, VALUES,.............................Sometimes; when the pain is more than the actual experience...................It is difficult to see or sense the 'trueness' or would I say 'love' is for 'real'...............Or merely just the imagination or the infuation of some senseless teenager who is living out the dreams from her daily indulgence in romance .................books......................Pretty hard to figure out doesn't it..........................

Humor me.....................If not try to get somethings for me to 'crack' my head out solving them than to 'replaying'......................Them..........................It sure scares me................And also..........Committment.............................Just keep on praying and hoping that this is what it seems to be and not out from the books..............Or any indulgence of books.......................from Judith McNaught...............or even Virginia Andrews.............................